What about a trip?
by Lulubird
Summary: Generation three take a camping trip to Gobler's End that begins a series events for Mini that soon spiral out of control.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys! So this fic is set pre-non-wedding sometime. Enjoy and please review! x**

**MINI**

"Come on you pussies!" cried Nick. "It's my fucking birthday, we have to do something."

Alo opened his mouth but Nick cut him off. "Something interesting," he expanded pointedly. Alo slumped sulkily in his chair.

"Can't we just go out," sighed Liv lazily. She was sitting with Matty, his arm hanging around her neck.

"Ooh what about that new place? Chance?" I exclaimed excitedly. There was a collective groan from everyone except Franky who was observing with mild amusement. I crossed my arms primly and flicked my hair over my shoulder. Like I cared what they thought.

"We could go on a picnic?" offered Grace. Nick gave her a look that made it clear that that suggestion didn't even deserve a groan.

"Come on you fuckers!" he cried in exasperation. "How hard can it be to think of something fun?"

Matty rose from the couch sighing. He pulled Liv up by one hand and wrapped an arm around her waist. "Well, we've got better places to be."

I rolled my eyes in disgust. Rich and Alo exchanged a sarcastic look. Matty pretended not to notice either of them. Noticing Nick's crestfallen face he gave his brother a dutiful smile. "But we will keep thinking," he promised as they wandered away.

Grace jumped up. "I have to dash too! I need to talk with Mr. Fitz before class." She pecked Rich on the cheek before waving at Franky and I and skipping out of the room. Nick threw himself onto a chair and pulled out a spliff from his pocket. As the smoke began to drift around us I gave him a contemptuous look and scrunched up my nose.

"Do you mind?" I asked him acidly.

He gave me a broad, nonchalant smile. "Not at all."

I sniffed angrily. "Whatever."

"What about a trip?" Franky offered quietly. "To the beach or camping or something?"

Rich looked at her in horror. "Do I even look like I do camping?" he asked.

However Nick jumped at the idea. Literally. He sprung to his feet shouting, "Yes! That is what I'm talking about! A trip. Where to?"

Alo stuck his hand in the air. "I have a suggestion fine fellow." Nick turned to him with an expression like an expectant puppy. Rich crossed his arms sullenly and kicked Alo, but he wasn't deterred. "Well I heard some people talking about this place they went. Gobler's End? It's meant to be pretty spooky."

Nick nodded approvingly. "Yeah...sounds perfect! Okay, here's the plan. Next weekend we all head down there. Alo you can drive us right?"

Alo nodded, smiling smugly.

"Ah just wait on one fucking minute," began Rich.

"Nope! No waiting. Waiting is for the dead!" cried Nick as he sped off after the others.

Rich shot Franky a black look but she just smiled warmly at him and followed Nick out the door. I watched her go but was drawn back to the boys when Rich began swearing.

"Great," complained Rich. "Just fucking great. We are going to the woods Alo. People get murdered in the woods." I laughed at his drama.

"Aw, would Richy wichy be just a wittwe bit scawed?" mocked Alo.

"No!...No. It's just a stupid idea that's all."

"Right. Whatever Richard," said Alo, slapping Rich on the back. "Just go with the flow alright? We are mere leaves on the stream of life my friend."

Rich looked at him like he was speaking another language. "Alo. What the fuck are you on about?"

Alo leapt to his feet dramatically. "Who knows Rich? Who cares? Come on. Life is calling us" he said as he marched out of the room. Rich quietly cursed his receding back but eventually followed him anyway.

G-E-N-E-R-A-T-I-O-N-T-H-R-E-E

Music pumped from the van as it sped down the highway with three balloons flying from the aerial. Nick was leaning over Alo's shoulder in the driver seat belting along to the song. Rich was slumped grumpily in the passenger seat trying to pretend he was anywhere else. The rest of us were scattered in the back laughing and drinking.

As the car pulled off the highway and onto a rough country road we yelped as we were forced to grab for the nearest support. Liv was thrown to the floor of the van and sat there laughing hysterically, aided somewhat by drugs. Matty held out a hand to her and pulled her back onto the bed. She landed on top of him still laughing. Franky watched them curiously from across the van but looked away guiltily when they started kissing. Throughout I had been watching Franky's expression closely. As Liv and Matty started making out I gave Franky's hand a quick, comforting squeeze. Franky looked up at me gratefully.

Jumping up I made a decision. "Alright alright you two, God we don't all want to see it!" I called as I pushed Liv playfully. Laughing again Liv rolled of Matty and pulled me into a hug. She rummaged in her pocket and waved a small bag of powder in front of my eyes.

"Come on. You know you want it," she sang at me. Laughing I shook my head and moved to get up again but Matty placed a hand on my elbow. I turned and was caught in his gaze.

"Don't be boring Mini. Come one, let loose," he glanced at Franky but continued to speak to me un a hushed tone. "You know you want to."

I flicked by gaze to where he was looking before glaring at him. Holding his eyes determinedly I slowly reached out to the bag Liv was holding and dipped my finger in. He nodded slowly, a faint smile on his lips. I felt Liv lean in as she whispered in my ear. "Our way is _much_ more fun."


	2. Chapter 2

**Well guys this is just going to be a short story. This chapter is 100% Mini so enjoy and please remember to review if you like it or have advice. x**

"Ta da!" cried Alo triumphantly as we made our way into a clearing. I looked around me dismally. I could barely see the sky through the trees, which probably didn't matter as there wasn't any sun anyway. Nick ran around the clearing with Alo screaming at the top of their lungs. Well at least someone could be excited. Everyone else wore variations of my expression, the most extreme being Rich who looked completely horrified.

"Fan-fucking-tastic" he muttered as he pushed past me and dumped the tent on the ground. Grace sidled up to him and murmured comforting words. They didn't seem to help very much.

G-E-N-E-R-A-T-I-O-N-T-H-R-E-E

Later, after we had set up the tents (although in some cases the level of success was dubious) and had a small fire going in the middle we all settled around it. I curled up between Alo and Franky, wrapped in a blanket and nursing a drink. Grace had finally convinced Rich that there were possibilities in the woods. They were currently wrapped in a sleeping bag and all I could see was the top of their heads. They were whispering and giggling like twelve year old girls. Liv and Matty were nowhere to be seen.

I felt myself shivering as a breeze ruffled the trees around us. It really was spooky around here, especially at night with no light except the fire. Even the moon was hiding behind some mean looking clouds. I was startled by a movement to my side. Franky had scooted up next to me and pulled my blanket around her shoulders too.

"Here," she said, handing me a beanie. I paused, looking at it dubiously. It had tassels on it! She laughed at the look on my face and leaned forward, stuffing it over my hair. I couldn't help but laugh back when she pulled it down over my eyes.

"I think it's a good look," she said, still laughing.

"Oh you always know how to make a girl feel special don't you?" I giggled. I shoved it back so I could see again and flattened my curls with a hand.

"This is some camping trip hey?" she said, looking around her.

"Yeah...where the fuck is Nick anyway? It is meant to be his damn party."

"I left him singing in the woods a few miles in that direction," said Alo drunkenly, pointing behind us. "He may have had a few...dozen."

"Alo!" cried Franky laughing.

"Meh, he's survived worse," I said reassuringly. We lapsed into silence again, both of us staring hypnotically at the leaping flames. In the silence I became intensely aware of her presence next to me. The warmth of her skin matched that of the flames in front of me. I became very conscious of the space between our hands clutching at the blanket. She seemed completely unaware of the effect she was having on me. I watched her feed twigs and leaves into the flames. She seemed entranced by the way it consumed everything she gave it. Her eyes lifted upwards to follow the curl of smoke left behind as it disappeared into the darkness. Suddenly it became too much for me.

"I'm going to go find Nick," I said suddenly, throwing the blanket off me and getting up. I almost tripped over Alo in my hurry to move away. I dodged around him and speed walked off into the trees behind us. I could feel Franky's surprised eyes on my back as I left but I didn't dare turn around. As I moved away from the light of the fire I realised that like an idiot I had forgotten to grab my torch. I wandered slowly through the trees, carefully picking my way over fallen logs.

The tassel on the top of the beanie brushed against my face as I walked. It actually did make me a lot warmer I realised. As I hopped over a particularly big log on the ground I saw a flash of light moving in the darkness ahead of me. I went to call out but decided that until I knew who it was perhaps it would be better to stay silent. I slowed my pace as it came closer towards me, trying not to make any noise with my footsteps. All the spooky talk on the van ride here had really gotten into my head. Not to mention the ghost stories Alo had been telling with surprising flare before dinner.

As I made out the shape of the person however my fear disappeared.

"Liv!" I cried, running towards her. "Oh thank God! I thought you were a murderer or something." I wrapped her in a hug. Pulling back I could smell the alcohol on her breath. "Jesus. Did you drink the whole brewery or something?"

She stumbled over to a log and sat down. "No...just the bottle. Matty and I had our own party." She laughed, pulling me down next to her.

"Great," I said. "I was relying on you to find our way back."

"What exactly are you so keen to get back to?" she asked seriously, leaning in too close to me.

I scrunched up my nose. "What are you on about?"

"I can think of one thing you would be keen to get back to...or should I say one person?"

My stomach flipped. Did she know?

"You're crazy...and drunk," I said dismissively.

"Yeah but I'm right aren't I? Come on Mini, your girl crush is so blatant."

"I don't know what you're talking about Liv."

"Yes you do. You. Love. Franky." She smiled wickedly.

I looked at her coldly. "Oh like you're such an expert on love you drunk slut. You just give it to anything that moves." My defensiveness turned into anger and bubbled over into my voice. She stopped smiling instantly.

"Mini-"

"No!" I interrupted her. "You and Matty think you are so wonderful. Well here's news for you. You're not! You're both just trying out your weird little experiments on each other. He doesn't love you Liv!"

Anger flashed in her eyes. "Shut up Mini!" her voice hinted at danger but I was beyond noticing.

"You don't care about anyone else. Both of you...all you care about it your drugs and your sex. As long as dearest Liv and Matty are having fun who gives a fuck if anyone else gets hurt!"

She snapped and shoved me hard in the chest. I fell back and just sat there completely stunned. She towered over me, the alcohol and drugs making her fiercer than I had ever seen her.

"You don't know anything Mini! You're just jealous coz you couldn't even keep your own boyfriend. Whatever you did to him it sure sent him running fast. What? Did he find out about your little girl crush? Did he get jealous of all the pathetic attention you were pouring on Franky? Because everybody can see it...I wouldn't be surprised if even Franky knows. She's probably just too nice to tell you to fuck off."

Furiously I jumped up and pushed her back. She was ready for it though and only staggered backwards slightly. I reached out and grabbed for her necklace. As I ripped it from her throat bright buttons flew everywhere and landed in the leaves around us. She swiped back at me furiously and connected with the strap of my dress, ripping it so that the fabric tore down to the waist. I clutched at the strap of the dress, glad that I had put on a slip underneath.

"You bitch!" I screamed at her. "You're wrong. There is nothing with Franky. She is my friend and I look after her." I dropped my voice to an acid whisper as I moved in close to her. "_That_ is what friends do. Not that _you_ would know."

I spun around and stormed off into the undergrowth. I could hear her shouting after me.

"Just run away Mini! You're pathetic...always running from how you feel. At least I have the guts to stand up for myself!"

I tried to shut out her voice as I pushed through the trees. Branched whipped at me as I ran, until I felt like I had cuts and scratches all over my arms and face. Even in my anger I still remembered that once again I had been stupid enough to run off into the dark woods without a torch. But there was no way I was going back yet. Franky would be there looking at me with that look of confusion and that was not if Liv had told her. She was so angry at me I wouldn't put it past her to tell them all, just to spite me. And then everything would change and I couldn't stop it.

Breaking out in sobs I had to stop, clutching at the rough bark of a large tree. I focused on its texture as I tried to stop the tears from coming. I felt so alone, and not just because I was stranded in the middle of the woods. With Liv hating me there was no one left to turn to.

I curled up at the base of the tree and wrapped my arms around my legs. I put my head on my knees, wanting to disappear. A part of me wanted to believe that I could disappear just because I couldn't see anyone, just like my rabbit used to when it stuck its nose under my arm. But no one really bother's a pet rabbit.

A distant thudding eventually roused me from my thoughts. Footsteps were making their way towards me. I held my breath and was suddenly thankful that I didn't have a light. I thought it might be Liv who had been overcome with a wave of guilt and pursued me. I decided that if it was her she could shove it, my feeling towards her were still bubbling angrily inside my head. After listening closely for a few minutes I decided that they were too heavy to be Liv, but they _were_ drunk. I could tell by the way they were stumbling all over the place. Suddenly there was an even louder thump and the person swore loudly, howling as they fell over. I knew that howl anywhere.

"Nick?" I called into the darkness.

"Mini!" he cried happily from somewhere to my left. I shuffled my way over to him and crouched down next to his dark form on the ground.

"Oh my God. I'm so glad to see you," I cried as I hugged him.

"Fuck yes!" he shouted in my ear. He was clearly still very drunk. "I thought I would never make it back."

"Back?" I questioned.

"To camp. I've been wandering around out there for ages!"

"Nick. I'm not at the camp. I have no idea where we are."

"Oh." We stared at each other in the darkness for a few moments. Now what were we going to do. I sat down sadly in the leaves next to him. He put a gentle arm around my shoulders.

"Mins have you been crying," he asked affectionately.

I sniffed and shook my head. He wasn't fooled. 'What's the matter Mins?"

"Liv and I had a fight," I went with the safest answer. It wasn't a lie exactly, I mean she was part of the reason I was crying.

"Well that's not new is it? You guys have fought since you were old enough to fight."

He may be drunk but he was being bloody perceptive tonight. Damn it. I snuggled in closer to his warmth, hoping he would just drop it.

"Mini?" he pursued.

I sighed dramatically. "I'm...lonely." It felt weird confessing to Nick but somehow the darkness made it easy. "Everyone seems to have someone. Liv has Matty and Grace has Rich. Who do I have?"

"You have me," he said softly.

I turned to look at him. "No. I used to have you. But Liv stole that from me too." The bitterness in my voice was unmistakable.

He touched my chin softly. I looked up at him questioningly. I wasn't sure what was happening here.

"You can have me again," he said. Okay, Now I knew where this was going.

"Nick..." I started.

"Come on Mins. Just one night."

I thought about it for a few seconds. On one hand I had sworn never to make these same mistakes again. On the other hand, it would be a bloody good way to show Liv that she was full of crap. My mind was still buzzing with angry thoughts. This was not the best way to be making a decision but I was beyond caring about rational thought.

Impulsively I moved towards Nick, pushing him over as I kissed him aggressively. We rolled in the leaves and I could feel them sticking in my hair and clothes. He responded instantly to my advances, kissing me back and grabbing at the torn remnants of my dress. For now I didn't care if this was right or wrong. I was done thinking. It only ever made things complicated. Perhaps it was the darkness that pressed in around us but I felt as if my movements were not my own. There was no connection between what my brain was thinking and what my body was doing. As Nick kissed down my neck I gazed up at the dark treetops above us and waited for morning to arrive.


	3. Chapter 3

A light, misty rain was falling as Nick and I wandered back to the campsite in the morning. In the light of day I realised that we actually hadn't gone very far. Both of us must have been running in circles because it had felt like we were miles from anyone else. As we got closer my heart began to beat hard and butterflies took up residence in my stomach. l I had managed to postpone the confrontation at the camp for one night but unfortunately it was inevitable. I had to face Liv sometime and I just had to desperately hope that she hadn't said anything to Franky.

Nick wandered along quietly content. He hadn't said much to me when we woke and I had not exactly felt like chattering to him. We had simply gathered out scattered clothing and huddled into each other against the cold rain. As the colourful tents came into sight between the trees he placed a casual arm around my shoulders. I didn't have the will to shake him off. Gloominess had entered my mind last night and between the self-doubting and angry thoughts there was very little room to worry about anything Nick was doing. I barely even noticed his presence next to me. We came through the last of the trees and the first thing I noticed was Franky and Alo still sitting at the fireplace. Grace and Rich had disappeared somewhere and thankfully, Liv and Matty were nowhere to be seen. Alo was fast asleep curled up in a tatty blanket and cuddling an empty bottle of vodka like it was a teddy bear. Franky was poking at the remnant of the fire, attempting to spur it back into life. As she heard us arrive she glanced up slightly startled. Her eyes softened when she recognised us but immediately shock took over as her gaze roamed over Nick and I. Suddenly I realised what a state we must look. My hair was hanging in wet, twisted strands over my shoulders and had twigs and leaves caught all through it. My makeup had run following my fight with Liv and it trailed in black smudges down my cheeks. My dress had gained even more damage than the ripped strap from Liv. It had rips and dirt all over it and hung in shreds from my waist. Nick didn't look much better. His shirt was untucked and covered in dirt. He seemed to have lost his shoes and was wandering along in holey socks, oblivious to the cold. Worst of all I realised his belt was still undone. I inwardly cringed at the assumptions that Franky must have been thinking. And they were true, that was the worst of it.

Avoiding her questioning eyes I shrugged Nick's arms from around my shoulders. He carelessly ruffled a hand through his hair and leaned in to give me a peck on the cheek, laughing. I flinched away from his kiss, scrunching up my nose at the smell of stale alcohol on his breath. He laughed again and wandered over to Alo, giving him a not-so gentle nudge with his foot.

I shuffled over to my tent, hoping to find a clean, warm jumper. Unzipping the fly I crawled inside and sat down on the sleeping bag, uncaring about the dirt I was spreading. Suddenly I didn't have the energy to get changed or to even find some clothes.

Someone entered the tent and I looked up to see Franky plonking herself down at the other end of my sleeping bag. We sat in awkward silence for a few minutes as I ruffled half-heartedly through my bag and avoided looking at her.

"Here," she said kindly, leaning forward and taking the bag from me. She pulled it open and grabbed a pale blue hoodie. "You look like you're frozen." She said as he helped pull it over my head. Shaking my wet hair out of my eyes I gave her a small but grateful smile.

"I know what it looks like..." I said.

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Mini...it's not my place..."

"It was just a crazy night. I got lost and then I had a fight with Liv and then I found Nick and..." I trailed off into silence, looking at her guiltily.

She gave me a warm smile. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah...shit happens."

"Right," I mumbled. "You're not going to tell me what an idiot I've been or something?" I half hoped she would.

"I'll leave that for Liv."

"Oh..." I said remembering. "Has Liv been back?" I asked hesitantly, unsure of how much Franky knew.

"I haven't seen her all night actually. I was getting worried about everyone to tell the truth. You all did a disappearing act on me."

"Sorry about that," I said, struggling to hide the relief in my voice.

"Why_ did_ you run off Mini?" she asked me seriously. My stomach dropped again and I picked up a towel and began to rub it over my hair to hide my nervousness.

"I went to find Nick," I said as casually as I could. "Remember? I was worried about him."

"Yeah I remember..." she replied in a disbelieving tone, but she didn't pursue it further.

Voices outside distracted us from our conversation. Pushing our way out of the tent we were greeted with the sight of the group re-united. Grace and Rich had emerged from a tent and we sitting on a log by the fire. It appeared that Liv and Matty had just arrived back from wherever they had spent the night. They were wandering over to the fire when Liv spotted Franky and I emerging from my tent. She stopped, letting go of Matty's hand and looked me over suspiciously, eyeing my tattered dress and messy hair.

She regarded us coolly and I returned her look, adding some poison.

"Good night?" she said in an annoyingly superior voice, with a hint of mocking laughter behind her words.

"Fine," I spat back at her, crossing my arms defensively. To my annoyance I could not change how this looked to Liv and it was only going to add fuel to her already painfully big fire. Franky glanced between us, observing our hostility with concern.

"Liv. Here," called Matty from the other side of the fire, waving some food at her. She broke our angry gaze and glanced over at him.

"Go on Livvy. Lover boy is calling you."

She gave me a dangerous look and walked over to him, turning her back pointedly to me.

"Some fight huh?" Franky asked me, staring after Liv. "What was it about?"

My chilly demeanour slipped as I struggled to think of an appropriate answer. I clenched my jaw to keep the word in but it buzzed in my mind. What did we fight about? _You._

"Nothing. Stupid stuff," I finally mumbled. "Let's get something to eat."

I wandered over to the food, hoping that Franky would take my answer as adequate but knowing that she probably wouldn't. Well it was all I could manage right now. There were so many things going through my head that I didn't even know where to start in sorting out my thoughts. I took a seat next to Grace, reached for an apple and decided that I would deal with that later.


	4. Chapter 4

No one spoke as we packed up the tents into the van. They kept throwing anxious glances between Liv and I as if they were scared we were about to explode. When we were almost ready to leave I hovered by the van, eager to escape. My eye caught on Liv and Matty who were standing a little distance away. Matty had his back to me and was leaning in, whispering something in Liv's ear. She smiled saucily at his words but when she noticed me watching she winked at me and made a show of grabbing Matty and kissing him passionately. I turned away in disgust as they wrestled each other. _Didn't they need to breathe?_ I wandered away into the trees on the edge of the clearing, making sure I could still see the van. I certainly had no desire to get lost again. Sitting down on a tree stump I started to watch the activity of the others as they scurried back and forth from the van. Grace and Rich were mucking around, laughing and kissing at every opportunity. They looked so happy. I wish I could be like Grace and see that goodness in everyone. She was so kind and gentle and I was so suspicious of everyone. I assumed that people weren't worth it and they had to work damn hard to change that, whereas as Grace assumed everyone was wonderful and they really had to screw up to change her mind. My fingernails cut into the palm of my hand as I tried to prevent myself from crying. Teary eyes were the last thing I needed to add to my appearance right now, I was such a mess. All I wanted was to get home, take a hot shower and not have to talk to anyone for at least 24 hours. Lately it seemed every time I sat down to talk to one of the gang it ended in awkwardness or anger.

Grace shouted and waved for me to come over to the van. It looked like we were finally ready to leave. Sighing I got up from my stump and straightened my clothes. _You just have to get through the ride home_ I thought to myself. _You can do that._

Climbing into the van I was faced with the problem of where to sit. Liv and Matty were once again on the bed, smoking a spliff. I wished there was room in the front but Nick had taken the passenger seat. Standing awkwardly in the doorway I tossed up the option of sitting next to Franky. Looking around for alternatives I noticed Liv watching me, a look of amusement on her face. Cursing under my breath I turned and stormed out and wrenched open the passenger door.

"Nick. Mind if I swap with you?"

He looked surprised by shrugged and moved out. I clambered in ignoring Alo's curious gaze. I felt people's eyes on my back but stubbornly refused to turn around. God know what Franky was thinking now. I huddled down in my seat and stared out the window, ignoring the laughter from the back and Alo's attempted conversation. He gave up pretty quickly, sensing my mood, so I spent the ride home lost in my own tumultuous thoughts.

G-E-N-E-R-A-T-I-O-N-T-H-R-E-E

I must have fallen asleep because suddenly we were back in the streets of Bristol. I stared around me hazily and jumped when someone tapped me on the arm. That must have been what had woken me. I looked behind to see Nick leaning over Alo's shoulder.

"Mornin' sleepin' beauty."

"Hmmm?" I mumbled, still waking up.

"So you in for going out tonight?" he asked as if continuing a conversation.

"Tonight?"

"Yeah. We're all going out to Depot. Celebrate a successful trip and all that."

"Tonight?" I repeated. "But, we've only just gotten back."

"No time to waste Mins!"

"I don't know..."

Nick groaned. "Come on. Everyone is going. It's not like you to miss a party."

I sighed, knowing he was right and that it would look strange if I didn't go. "Fine," I said, going against every fibre in my body. Looks like my night of self contemplation and misery would have to wait. The front would have to be maintained just a little while longer.

"Wicked! Okay, meet at nine yeah?"

"Uh huh," I muttered unenthusiastically. That would be just enough time to shower and get changed.

"She's coming!" cried Nick over his shoulder.

"Oh goody!" squealed Grace. Why did I feel that there had been speculation on my attendance tonight whilst I was asleep?

G-E-N-E-R-A-T-I-O-N-T-H-R-E-E

At nine o'clock precisely I wandered up to the front of the club. It looked dark and dingy, going on the grimy alleyway entrance and the dubious looking bouncers at the door. The others were nowhere to be seen so I decided to go inside. Flashing my fake ID and giving the bouncers a winning smile I stepped inside. The air was thick with smoke and the smell of stale beer and sweat. Marvellous. I squeezed past people to get to the bar and ordered a drink, surveying the room for any sight of the others. Just as my drink was passed over to me I spotted them in a booth on the far side of dance floor. I pushed past the dancers and made my way over to them, taking a seat on the end of a bench next to Nick.

"Hi guys," I said fake-cheerfully sipping my drink.

"Hey Mini!" chimed Grace, cheerful as always.

Alo and Nick simply grunted at me. They had clearly had a few pre-drinks already.

"So where is...everyone?" I asked glancing around for Liv, Matty and Franky.

"Oh I'm sure they'll be here soon," said Grace. "Oh look! There's Liv...and Matty too. They must have gotten here earlier."

I followed where she was pointing. They were in the middle of the dance floor, shoved up against each other and slowly moving to the beat. I watched them dance for a few moments, mesmerised by the way they moved in perfect sync. My observation was interrupted when someone stood in front of me. Focusing closer I realised it was Franky, smiling warmly at me.

"Hi."

"Hi," I replied uncomfortably. She sat down next to me, moving closer so I would make room, even though there was much more room on Grace's bench. I moved closer to Nick so she would have more room and we wouldn't be touching. Nick took it as a sign of affection though and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me in closer. I decided to go with it, snuggling into his embrace. It was better than accidently brushing up next to Franky. I felt her curious gaze on us but refused to look in her direction, knowing I would have to explain myself if I did. If I acted like it was totally normal maybe I could fool everyone, even Franky.

G-E-N-E-R-A-T-I-O-N-T-H-R-E-E

Three hours later and I was well and truly drunk. My nervousness had made me constantly sip my drink, eager for something to do, and Nick had kept bringing rounds to the table. Liv and Matty had joined us but only seemed interested in each other, whispering and cuddling together. Occasionally Liv glanced at me as Matty said something to her and a smile would form on her lips. I did my best to ignore them but I was growing increasingly uncomfortable and angry. It didn't help that I was intensely aware of Franky's presence next to me. I wished she would just move or get up and dance. The alcohol made my anger grow until I felt like I was about to scream at someone. I sat, hunched over my drink trying to avoid eye contact with everyone so I wouldn't explode. Finally I saw Liv move away from Matty and slide out of the booth. She gave him a quick kiss before moving away through the crowd towards the ladies. I abandoned my drink and shoved past the others after her without saying a word of explanation. I pushed people out of my way as I marched after her. I caught her just as she pushed through the door to the outside corridor. The noise of the music and laughter dropped instantly to a dull thud in the background.

"Liv!" I called angrily to her. She turned to face me looking mildly surprised. I waited for two giggling girls to totter past us and back into the club. "What the hell is your problem now?" My words were slurred as I tried to form a coherent argument.

LIv laughed at me, which only made my rage increase. "Mini go back inside. You can't even stand up straight." She dismissed me by turning away and began to walk down the corridor. I lunged forward and grabbed her arm, pulling her with me through another door and into the stairwell. Angrily I let go of her arm, pushing her away from me at the same time. She stumbled and hit the wall, not hard but enough to wipe the smile from her face.

"What the fuck is your problem?" I screamed at her. "Why can't you just fucking piss off with your boyfriend and leave me alone?"

She stared back at me, clearly surprised at the level of my anger but still not rising to my insults. I wanted her to scream back at me, to hate me as much as I hated her right now. I wanted her to say something that would justify my rage.

I leapt forward and pushed her angrily in the chest, like I had in the woods but this time she didn't push me back. I had her up against the wall and was glaring into her eyes angrily but she only looked back at me calmly.

"Mini. You're embarrassing yourself. Just go back inside."

"No! You can't just screw around with my life Liv."

"You're doing it yourself Mini. Look at you. You're a mess. Who would want you like this? Franky certainly won't."

Her words bit deep and I had slapped her before I even realised my hand had moved. Her head snapped sideways with the force of my hit. I froze, unable to believe I had done that. Liv and I had been best friends forever. We had fought, we had been angry at each other but this was something else, something new. I don't think we could come back from this. Words of apology were on my tongue when I felt a sharp pain across my cheek. She had hit me back. Tears sprang involuntarily to me eyes. My guilt disappeared immediately and rage washed over me again. This was what I had wanted- justification.

"You're just pathetic Mini," she said softly, shaking her head with a look of contempt on her face. I stood still, tears trickling down my cheeks but inside I was furious. She went to push passed me, clearly thinking that I had given in, that I felt too sorry for myself to fight back. I grabbed her arm as she moved passed me and shoved her against the wall again. I was shouting at her but I wasn't even sure what I was saying. Weeks of rage and misery spilled out of me. Suddenly she fought back, pushing me and leaving long scratches down my arm. She had the advantage of being relatively sober but I was empowered by my anger. We struggled, abuse and tears interchanging as we fought. I didn't even feel the pain as she took hold of my hair and pulled or as she shoved me hard into the concrete wall. There was no one around to hear us or to stop us. We had lost all control.

I had a grip on her throat and she slapped me again and pushed away from me. Undaunted I lunged forward, screaming, and drove her back. Suddenly her weight, which I was pushing against, disappeared and I grabbed the railing to stop myself falling. I watched, gasping in horror as she fell backwards down the stairs. In the sudden silence that followed I waited, holding my breath. I waited for her to move, to get up, to continue screaming at me.

But she didn't.

I couldn't see clearly in the darkness of the stairwell but I could tell she wasn't moving. My heart was beating too fast and I couldn't breathe. I crouched down next to the wall and tried to remember how to breathe properly. My vision blurred with tears.

After what felt like hours I could move again. I stood shakily and looked down the stairs, half expecting Liv to be standing there with a big grin on her face.

"Tricked ya."

But my eyes found the same sight. I gulped down more tears and hovered on the top step, trying to convince myself to walk down them.

I was scared. I had done this. It was my fault. But I had to go down there...didn't I?

I took a deep breath and put my foot on the next step. And found that I physically could not move any further. My brain was telling me I had to but I couldn't make myself. In a snap decision, I spun around and fled out the door, into the corridor and then into the club. Instantly I was surrounded by pulsing bodies. The music thumped in my head and the flashing lights blinded me. Smoke in the air stuck in my throat. I coughed and gagged, trying to breathe between sobs. A figure lurched out at me from the crown and grabbed at my waist.

"Heeeeey baby," he slurred into my face. Panicking I pushed him away from me and took off through the crowd. I ran passed the bouncers and out into the cool night air, thankful for its freshness but I didn't stop. I paused only to rip off my heels and then sprinted up the alleyway, leaving them behind. I had to get away.

I heard a voice behind me calling out and recognised it as Franky's. She must have followed me. She called my name but I couldn't stop, couldn't turn around so I kept going.

Blindly I ran though the streets of Bristol, desperate to escape what I had done.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry guys I know it's been ages since I updated these stories but I hope this compensates a little. Enjoy it. x**

It took me six hours before I had the courage to even go home. I slipped through the front door desperately hoping that mum was asleep or passed out. A confrontation with her was one thing I could not handle right now. When I had fled the nightclub I had wandered for ages through darkening streets, avoiding groups of drunken men sprawled outside pubs and squealing, jeering groups of mean looking girls, all dolled up in heels and mini-skirts and ready to take on the night. Earlier I had probably appeared just like these girls. But watching them I had skirted pools of light and slunk along in the shadows, convinced that every car driving passed me was the police, tracking me down and ready to haul me off the jail for...what? Assault, GBH...murder? What if she _was_ dead? As the thought entered my mind I shook my head fiercely to send the morbid idea skittering off into the darkness. It made me feel sick and shaky all over. Would anyone believe that it was an accident? Because it _was_ an accident...I think. Panicking I recalled all my angry words to Liv, just before. I had been furious at her and back then I thought I had wanted to hurt her. But had I actually meant it? The idea that I could do something like that deliberately, made me shiver but I couldn't be certain it was an accident. Truth be told the fight was a bit of a blur. Odd words and moments jumped out at me but I couldn't make it all fit together in the right sequence. There had been the flash of colour of our clothes, the pain as Liv pulled at my hair, the pressure as I pushed her into the wall, and then it just all stopped and all I could see was her figure lying at the bottom of the stairs. Fresh tears ran down my cheeks as I recalled it all.

Walking into my room I flopped onto my bed and buried my face in the cushions, quietly snuffling away the sobs that threatened to take over my body. I couldn't afford for my mother to hear me. She wouldn't leave until I gave her a satisfactory explanation for why I was so upset. I wasn't sure I had the strength to lie.

In the darkness of my room the images flashing through my mind only became more vivid. I felt like there was a tornado in my head, spinning faster and faster. A pressure was building behind my eyes and I had to bite hard on my lip to prevent a scream from ripping me apart I tasted blood. Lurching off the bed I flung myself at the door, flicking the light switch on full as I threw myself out the bedroom door and down the hallway. Not bothering to be quiet I rushed into the bathroom and was violently sick. My knees gave way beneath me and I collapsed against the bath, my hair falling from its clips and falling in my eyes as I gasped for breath. Shivering violently I pulled myself into the bath. I curled up in the comforting, curved space and closed my eyes. The flashing had stopped but I felt hollow. I pressed my cheek against the cool porcelain surface of the bath and found it slightly calming. As I heard a noise from downstairs I pricked up my ears and waited to see if my mother had heard me. Maybe I could get away with simply saying I had drunk so much. At least now I had a good reason for looking like complete shit. I listened intently but there was no sound of heavy footsteps on the stairs or the creaking of the bedroom doors. I was confident that even if my mother had been made of air she would have made more noise than herd of baby elephants. I relaxed back into the surface of the bath but was startled by the soft swoosh of the bathroom door opening. I looked up, my eyes bright with tears, to see Franky peering around it. Silently she closed the door and moved into the room. Her eyes didn't leave mine as she hopped into the bath and sat at the other end, facing me expectantly. I gazed back with wide, frightened eyes, fearful of the news she was bringing. She fiddled with her nails nervously and licked her lips, but didn't say anything.

"Liv...?" I croaked, my voice struggling to remember how to speak. A huge part of me didn't want to hear her response but my body seemed to have a mind of its own. My lips had formed the question before my brain could command it not to. Franky blinked once at me before casting her eyes downwards.

"They took her to hospital with a head injury. She hasn't woken up. They don't know whether she will." The words slithered out of her,, soft but deadly. They wrapped themselves around my throat and chest and constricted. I gasped for air and began to panic as small bursts of light appeared in my vision. From far away I heard a soft but strong voice though I could not make out the words. Then strong hands grasped mine. The reassuring weight of Franky's grasp and the melodious sound of her voice calmed me and I found that slowly air crept its way into my lungs. Breathing deeply I realised that once again tears had escaped my eyes and were running freely, falling down onto our joined hands. I glanced up to see Franky inches from me. She had scooted forward and was watching me intently.

"Better?" she asked. Mutely I nodded. "It's a panic attack," she continued in an even tone, absent-mindedly stroking my hands. "I used to get them as a kid, when...". Her voice trailed off and we sat in silence for a few moments. I watched her eyes for any hint of the emotion that had made her stop but her eyes, though glistening slightly with unshed tears, were blank.

"You're very good at hiding arn't you Franky?" I asked impulsively. She lifted her eyes to mine and stared at me with such intensity that I felt myself blush.

"I, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...I just meant..." I stuttered, aware that perhaps I was being intrusive. Suddenly she smiled ruefully and I felt my embarrassment disappear.

"" And you, Mini, are terrible at hiding. Did you think this wasn't the first place I'd look for you? You even left the front door open."

I blinked at her, not understanding. "I didn't think you _would_ be looking for me," I answered truthfully.

"I saw you run out of the club. I knew something was seriously wrong when you didn't stop. I called."

"I know," I replied, glancing down shamefully.

"They don't know you were there," she said suddenly, in a soft voice. I looked up at her sharply, studying her for the deeper meaning behind her words.

"Surely..." I began.

She cut me off. "They think she fell, because she had been drinking. And they found drugs in her system."

Frowning, I pulled my hands away from her grasp.

"Franky... you can't be meaning..." I shook my head. This was just a bad dream. It had to be. But when I opened my eyes again she was still looking at me with that calm, suggestive expression.

"Liv will tell them what happened, when she makes up," I whispered.

"Not necessarily," she replied in a sad voice.

I covered my mouth with my hand and shut my eyes tightly, trying to suppress the screaming and shouting that was threatening to burst out of me. I sensed Franky leaning forward and then felt her hands grip my shoulders. She called my name and gave me a gentle shake, trying to get me to open my eyes but I shook my head at her.

"Mini, trust me. Growing up in the foster system you...learn how to survive. And I'm telling you, this is how you are going to survive. No one needs to know you were even there."

I let out an involuntary little whimper but she continued as if she hadn't heard. "When you left the table you went to the bathroom. You never saw or heard Liv, you didn't know anything about it until I visited you this morning and told you. You left the club when you did, but because you felt ill. Everyone will believe that because they saw how much you had to drink. You are upset, naturally, because your best friend is in hospital, nothing more."

She gripped my hands and pulled them away from my face. My eyes flew open in surprise. She leaned forward and held my gaze. "You can do this Mini. You have to."

Despite the panic building inside me I found myself nodding in agreement.


	6. Chapter 6

**Here it is at last. I'm sorry for the slowness...inspiration seemed to be very stubbornly hiding from me. Hope you enjoy.**

As Franky and I walked down the cold, white corridors of the hospital I stared stubbornly ahead, determined to avoid glimpsing the scenes in the rooms on either side. I hated hospitals and catching sight of the tired, sick and broken people surrounded by grieving families that lined the halls was not going to help one bit.

They were little pockets of pain and sorrow separated by flimsy curtains, depressingly plain walls and fluorescently lit corridors.

We passed a nurses station where two female nurses in blue uniforms sat eating muffins and chatting about last night's episode of Eastenders. Well I suppose some people liked hospitals, you would have to in order to work there every day. Maybe getting a pay check at the end of it made it bearable.

As Franky leant on the high desk and politely asked where the Johnson Ward was my eyes were drawn to bright children's paintings tacked to the wall behind the desk. They were like cliché children's drawings, done in brightly coloured crayons, the heads either far too big or far too small and barely legible names scribbled in the bottom corner: Tallulah, Samita, Pierce, Daniel, Megan, Rosie, Liam, Caroline.

The images though were not of quaint houses, sunflowers and parents holding children's hands. Pierce's showed a bed with tubes and flashing lights connected to it, a smiling boy holding a teddy bear lying tangled between the scribbled lines of tubes.

Rosie's showed three nurses, their blue dresses clearly identifiable and huge red lipstick smiles painted on their faces.

Bloody hell hospitals were depressing. I was torn from my reverie when Franky yanked on my arm. I smiled a polite thank-you at the nurses and followed her down the corridor we had just walked down.

"It's on the other side of the building apparently. God it's so confusing. Why is the East Wing on the north side of the building?..." she continued to ramble lightly but I tuned out, unable to tear my thoughts away from their dark place.

It had been Franky's idea that we should go to the hospital today. _For appearances sake or something._

I had spent the past two days glumly haunting the house. My mum didn't notice, or didn't say anything if she did. I didn't want to sleep because every time I closed my eyes the flashes of that night returned. Sometimes even when I sat in silence for too long Liv's words from that night would rise to the top of my mind, her voice sounding as if she was standing next to me.

As a result I looked like complete shit. It had been a long time since I had walked out of the house without any makeup on, and only having tugged a hairbrush through the tangles of my blonde curls. Franky had pulled some clothes out of my wardrobe for me, which I had been a bit wary of but didn't have enough energy to object to. In the end though it had turned out well. She had picked something very similar to what I would have.

"I just imagined I was you" was all she said in explanation when I questioned her about her choice of garments.

There was no way I would have been here without Franky. Four times on the bus ride over I had been tempted to simply turn around a go home but her steady presence next to me had calmed me some.

But as we neared the entrance to a ward I stopped. There was Matty. He was crouched down beside a bank of chairs, his hands clasped together and his head leant back, resting against the wall. He looked pretty tired. Seeing him had undone all my courage. Suddenly I knew there was no way I could go in there and be around my friends and pretend as if this was okay, as if this wasn't all my fault.

"Franky...I can't."

She turned, a few steps in front of me. Instinctively my hand reached out to hers and with some surprise I felt her touch reaching out to mine. Without letting go she spun to face me, blocking Matty from my sight.

"He wouldn't blame you, you know," she said.

I was startled. I had expected reassurances and maybe even a pep-talk. My nerves were temporarily forgotten.

"What?" I asked, thrown off balance.

"Matty. I reckon that if he knew what had happened he wouldn't blame you."

"Why...how could he not blame me?" My voice had risen. Warily I glanced around before looking back at Franky. She was returning my gaze calmly and firmly.

"I fucking pushed her down the stairs Franky," I whispered, my voice laced with bitterness and...a challenge? This was the first time I had dared say that. Hell, two minutes ago I had been terrified to even think that. I was challenging Franky. We had been skipping around the facts, cushioning ourselves from the truth. As long as we did that how could she really know she wanted to help me?

Now the gaze I turned on her was cold and clear. Sudden courage that had appeared from some unknown place reflected itself in my expression, in the slight tilt of my chin.

She responded to my challenge with a resigned and thoughtful sigh. Glancing over her shoulder at Matty she pulled me into the shelter of two vending machines. Crossing her arms lightly she leant her back against the wall. Hesitantly I mimicked her, leaning on one side against the wall so I could look at her.

She turned her head slightly to look at me.

"Mini, I wasn't there. I don't know whether or not you pushed Liv down the stairs-"

"I just told you," I stated angrily, slowly pronouncing each word. "I pushed my best friend down the stairs and now she is in hospital."

She sighed again. "No. Like I said, I don't know what happened. And I'm guessing neither do you. If you were so sure of what happened this wouldn't be happening right now."

I didn't reply, just looked at the ground between us. I felt myself frowning at her annoying logic and the way she could read me so easily.

After the few seconds silence had stretched between us she spoke again in a more gentle voice.

"People do bad things for all sorts of reasons Mini. Sometimes people can't control what happens, and despite their best intentions, the people they love get hurt..." her voice trailed off into silence. She was staring absently over my shoulder and rubbing a spot on her upper arm. I watched her for a few moments, unsure if I should interrupt her thoughts or not. Then she blinked rapidly a few times and her eyes drew back to mine. She observed the quizzical expression on my face but dismissed it with a glance away.

"All I'm saying," she began softly, "Is that it's not as simple as you pushed her or not. There are a million other things that influenced that moment, most of which you won't ever know. So all you have to go on is what you feel now. And you and I both know that right now, you love Liv, and right now, you feel like absolute shit because she means the world to you."

Despite the panicked fluttering of my heart I knew she was right on some level. I couldn't change what had happened. All that was left to do was take a deep breath and walk through those hospital doors and hope to God that everything was going to be alright.


End file.
